After a late-night run for take-out at a downtown Cincinnati restaurant, my friend and I waited on the sidewalk for her husband to circle the block and come retrieve us.
While we were standing there, two fellows walked up. One was complaining to the other that these young “Facebook gangsters” (I think he meant teenaged boys) were wearing tight jeans that looked ridiculous. He turned to my friend and me to ask, “Would you talk to a guy with skinny jeans?”
While I am not a fan of men in lycra-blend denim, I noticed the guy who’d been offended by the tight dungarees was himself wearing jeans decorated with red rhinestones. As I had had a glass or two of wine, I couldn’t resist pointing out to him that someone wearing sparkly jeans ought not criticize someone who had chosen to wear tight jeans.
At first, the fellow defended his jeans, telling me that the so-called sparkles adorning his trousers were actual diamonds.
I had never seen diamonds made from red plastic, so I laughed a bit, which is when he sensed he was being made fun of, and began calling me “Four-Eyes.”
Mercifully, my friend’s husband came around the corner after that. Unfortunately, he didn’t see us right away and we had to run to the corner to get in the car, as the man in the sparkly jeans shouted after me hatefully, “Four Eyes! Four Eyes! Four Eyes!”